I Will Carry You.

As a mother I believe that I am the one who is the best, the most capable of caring for my children... including Aaden.

Who could care for him the way I would have? Who will teach him all the things he should know? Who will tell him about his brothers... and that his mommy and daddy love and miss him so...?

Who could possibly love him like I do? ...of course, God can and does love him infinitely more than I do...

I miss him more today than yesterday... and with every milestone Asher makes I miss his big brother even more. I yearn to know what he would look like, how cute his little smile would be... what his giggle would have sounded like.

I hate that I have to talk about my son in the past tense.

. . .

A song that has been on repeat in my mind... written in memory of Audrey Caroline

I Will Carry You {by Selah}

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?
People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One who's chosen Me
To carry you